disclaimer #1: i am preaching to myself as well in this post
disclaimer #2: we are seriously considering home-schooling our kids
disclaimer #3: maybe i'm writing this post before my thoughts are cohesive enough, but the kids are sleeping so i want to jump on the chance
a dear sweet blogging and real life friend posted this the other day and it has got me thinking a little bit about a whole string of things. hang with me if you like.
i was home-schooled until i reached high school and then we were sent to public high school. my mom did that with all four of us. it was great. my mom loved to teach and learn with us and public high school and college (though shocking in some ways) ended up being a really good next step for us. i loved school and may still go back one day...i think that love of learning is largely due to my mom's enjoyment of it as well. anyway, lest i lose my train of thought (disclaimer #4: my skull houses a somewhat scattered and occasionally frazzled mommy-brain). in the home-schooling world, we ran across all types of people...some were so weird, disconnected from society, judgemental, joyless, isolated, hurtful and i remember a lot of jabs, especially as we went on to public education. thinking back on it now, the thing that caused some of these relationships to be so painful was the fact that these families would take up causes that were not essential to Christianity and make them law, offering no grace to those who did things differently. since that time, i have developed a sensitivity to gracelessness.
i know i have opinions that i sometimes express too strongly too, but i think offering grace to others on the non-essentials is Biblical. graciousness only comes from true humility. pride is the opposite and looks like thinking and expressing that your way of doing something is the right way for every family. true humility comes from knowing the depth of your/my broken-ness and the greatness of our Savior...knowing that the amount of grace that has been and is offered is unfathomable. ok, so if someone does not know Jesus, there is not a framework of grace there...surely these people make decisions and judgements as best as they can, but they are not held to the same standard as someone who professes to know and love Jesus. "and this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us." 1john 3:23. ok, so if loving Jesus and calling ourselves one of His means we are to love one another...what does that look like? "patient and kind, does not envy or boast; is not arrogant or rude. it does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong-doing, but rejoices with the truth. love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." i corinthians 13:4-7 familiar passage?
what is my point? not exactly sure, but i want to be gracious like Jesus has been to me. i want to teach my kids to know truth and to offer grace. i long for them to love Jesus and for a genuine love of others to burn out of their lives because of that Christ-love. i want them to know what is going on in our culture and to strive for redemption in their little spheres of life. this friend is homeschooling and i have the privilege of watching her, dialoguing with her, tagging along on some field trips (and i must say that i was thrilled to meet other wonderful, grace-offering, Jesus-loving families in her little group). this lady has also helped me to think about these things as well. so i might home-school, but please offer me grace if i don't do it the way you would or if i don't do it at all. i promise, we are already praying about this and most other family decisions and we hope to do what God desires for our family.
one more thought...before i reached motherhood, i was unprepared for the unsolicited advice i would receive on nearly everything. new moms are particularly vulnerable to feelings of inadequacy as their heads get muddled with all the different ways to do things. in reality, each child and family is so different and there are lots of "right" and "good" ways to do things. mommy friends, let's be gracious with one another. if we can't depend on one another for this, who can we depend on? none of us has a perfect life...
2 comments:
what we are learning in this whole journey is that you don't make decisions based on what others think. Truth is, you will most likely be judged by someone, somewhere for homeschooling or not homeschooling. But what matters most is being obedient to what God calls you and your family to do. You can be certain you will face tension(this is part of the Christian life, yes?) from whatever decision you make but you can also be certain God will hold your hand through it all...
I meant to comment on this, and apparently forgot until I saw your post from today about the unkind comments. :( So sad, I'm sorry to hear that.
It breaks my heart when people who don't really know me misunderstand my heart behind something, whether it's a blog post or a decision we've made.
But your beautiful, selfless, truth-seeking heart DOES shine through, dear friend. I really enjoyed this post, by the way. I felt like it was very thoughtful and gentle. And I agree with Tara - what matters most is our obedience to what God calls our (individual, unique) families to. :)
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