Friday, September 19, 2008

Another Reason I'm Thankful

Besides the fact that I am unfathomably and infinitely loved by the God of the universe, I have an additional reason to be thankful this week.

I went to the OB yesterday as I am 33.5 weeks pregnant with David Graham, who is developing and growing well. For the last several days I have had this tender area on my calf. It is not unlikely that I whacked myself on something and just don't remember, but no bruise ever formed and all that could be palpated in the area was little knot. As a nurse who is married to a very cautious medical student, we immediately thought I had a DVT (for the non-medical, that is a blood clot in one of the deep veins) that would require blood thinning therapy and make the rest of my pregnancy a little more complicated. Well, I had an ultrasound of all the veins in my leg and there was no clot, but I was reminded of an earlier event in my life that explains why we and my OB freaked out a little bit. You see, I've had a clot before....

Adam and I were married in May of 2004. I was on hormonal birth control pills before marriage for some cycle regulation issues and remained on it into marriage for contraception. Three months after our wedding, we were on our way to another wedding in south Georgia and stopped for an overnight at my mom and dad's house. After a morning run and a shower, I was drying my hair and bent over to get underneath it. Suddenly I felt dizzy and weak. Adam was nearby and I made it to the bed, but the weakness got worse, my vision became blurry, I could not articulate words. Eventually I was unable to even sit up on my own. Of course, we hurried to the emergency room and Adam had to carry me in because I could not walk. My memories are a bit vague and spotty, but I remember having some sort of head scan (I think both a CT and an MRI), while Adam sat outside the scanner and wept. You see, my mom had recently had a brain tumor removed, so our family was still recovering from the trauma of that experience. As it turned out, I had a stroke. Yep, a 21 year old, completely healthy in every other way, avid runner, healthy eater had a stroke. I was admitted to the hospital for a couple days and within 24 hrs I had regained nearly all my strength and coordination (then my stroke became classified as a mini-stroke or a TIA).

I had a trans-esophageal echocardiogram done to look at my heart because surely there must've been a cause. There it was: a hole between the atria of my heart that everyone is born with and closes shortly after birth. Mine never closed. So I was diagnosed with a patent foramen ovale (which I found out later about 20% of the population has, but just doesn't know) and it was this little hole combined the the increased clotting potential that birth control causes that caused the stroke. A few months later I had my heart repaired at Emory University so that I would not be likely to have another stroke, especially during pregnancy (which is basically the same hormonal state as a body on birth control).

We learned a lot from the experience about how delicate our "everything's fine" life really is. Adam remembers making a commitment to God to love and care for me even if I never recovered from the stroke. God was gracious to us. I struggled with depression for a few months afterwards from the trauma of it all and because we were in a new town where we knew few people, but God was gracious to bring me through that too. I came away from the experience with a new respect for the hormonal state of our body. Of course, I'm never allowed to take birth control again, but I wonder if people realize how serious the side effects can really be. Also, we almost allowed our insurance to lapse from job to job, but decided to take out a private plan for just a few months. Our bills were significant with the insurance, but without it we never would have recovered.

That's my story from the past for today and I'm thankful for God's grace even this week in keeping my legs clot-free!

4 comments:

CityStreams said...

Wow! I had no idea that this happened. I wish I'd know that you were in the same city as me that summer. I would have brought you casseroles and movies. Or maybe salads. You probably don't eat casseroles. :o)

Kevin and Tara said...

What a beautiful reminder of God's sovereignty...thanks for sharing.

Ellen said...

Ellen,

It's amazing that to this day your stroke has been shown to be one of God's kindest and most severe mercies to us. Kind in that in an instant my love for you was refined 100 times over not knowing if you would ever be the same, but not caring any longer for my vision of what I want you to be and instead caring only to love you as God would have me to; as Christ loves the Church. Severe in that this joy, yes joy, only came through suffering.

hh said...

Wow Ellen! I didn't realize how serious a time that was for you! Thanks for your honesty. You and Adam's life is such a beautiful reflection.