Monday, July 13, 2009

"there's no crying in baseball!"

i'm trying to continually imagine tom hanks yelling this at me except substituting the word "baseball" for "residency" or "intern-year." though i do whine occasionally on here, i am resolving to keep it to a minimum. discontentment can easily rise up in any season of life because on this side of the jordan, frustrations and broken-ness abound. and broken-ness is not just around me, but also in me and so my tendency (and probably yours too) is to want what i do not have, to seek satisfaction and joy things and circumstances other than Christ. we knew residency was going to be hard and so we are not surprised that the first two weeks have been a bludgeoning of sorts. just try to imagine me speaking/writing with an optimistic overtone because i can't help but talk about it...affects most things right now. it is going to look like 80-90 hours of work for adam most weeks and pretty stressful work at that. it is going to look like me figuring out how to do a lot of things on my own with both kids...many events, exercise (can't do anything that i can't do with a jogging stroller), travel, repairs around the house (i think i might try to paint the kitchen after the kids go to bed some night this week), pretty much all the care of munchkin a and b day and many nights. i am not complaining. promise. but do pray for us, for our marriage, for our family. pray for grace to abound...we are both tired when we are finally together and it is easy at those times to be over-sensitive, critical, and tense. i struggle not to worry about becoming "disconnected" and often my cloud of worry can steal the little time we do have together. the gracious thing about residency is that it changes every month...even if the next month is still hard, it might be different hard. we were able to squeeze in a desperately needed date this weeekend (thanks dave and carol!) and a small birthday party for marit next weekend on adam's post-call day (hope he can stay awake for it:)). anyway, that's all, by the grace of God i resolve not to whine...ok? help keep me accountable?

5 comments:

Kevin and Tara said...

you need prayer and along with that, you also need community. don't forget who you are surrounded by - lots of peeps who love you and be willing to admit that you need help sometimes. we all do and that's completely normal. as a matter of fact, God made us to be dependent - upon him and upon others. we continue to pray and are thankful for you guys. I love your heart in this season and your desire to cultivate contentment. It's a beautiful thing!

The Berls said...

scott and i are praying for you guys! i am sure you will have lots of wisdom to offer me:)

Kels said...

I can really identify with what y'all are going through (even though I have to semi-single parent with only one child.) The thing that I have to continually remind myself is how thankful I am that my husband has a good job that he feels called to. I am grateful for God's provision through this job, even though it costs us so much time apart. However bad I may hate it some days, this is God's plan for our family. All that to say, I'll be praying for you guys!

Brooke said...

praying
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faitfulness."

love you!

Ellen said...

thank you for your sweet encouragement and prayers. yes, tara, our community is such a blessing and we do need you and are so thankful for you! kels you are so right about knowing that this is what God has for our family...we honestly would not want to be doing anything but what He has designed for us...truly a comfort to rest in His good, good sovereignty.