Let me be faithful

I enjoy listening to Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill Church www.marshillchurch.org in Seattle and I was so encourgaged this week by a story he told of Billy Graham. Billy was known to remind his staff frequently that they could possibly enjoy more treasures in heaven than he because "God rewards faithfulness, not just fruitfulness." I love this idea, first of all, because it is true. Also, because I struggle (especially lately) as I know we all do, to be content with the mundane things of life. I absolutely love being a mother, but it's pretty boring sometimes. I could not love my daughter more deeply, but sometimes I long for her to tell me something that makes sense or to respond to my discipline, or just to see results from this parenting thing. I know this discontent rises from sin in my own heart and I see it in other areas of my life too. Work (I work part-time as a cancer nurse) has been challenging lately and sometimes I bring the stress home with me. I feel completely inadequate in my relationships with others when these seasons of discontent arise...my insecurities surface and I struggle not to criticize my awkwardness. I blame my sweet husband for my own failures. Basically, I realize that I can't hold it all together. I am not capable of being fruitful in every area of life all the time. And then I'm reminded to be faithful...even in small things and to allow Christ to continue His perfecting work in my heart so that He might be glorified in all of life. After all it's not about me and my performance, is it? This is an age-old lesson I know. I've learned it before and I will continue to relearn it, I'm sure. Even now, I'm not sure if I have sufficiently learned to rely on Him instead of myself this time. Sometimes these seasons of gloom seem to linger, but it comforts me that I know the truth and I know what to preach to myself as I muddle on. I hope I haven't discouraged you!